


Clarity

by bearonthecouch



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Dating Advice, F/M, Jedi Training (Star Wars), Kanan and Hera in the shower, Missing Scene, Season 2
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-18
Updated: 2020-08-18
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:34:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25964434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bearonthecouch/pseuds/bearonthecouch
Summary: He knows how important Phoenix Squadron is to Hera, and where Commander Sato calls her, there she goes.He’s notjealous. Is he?
Relationships: Ezra Bridger & Kanan Jarrus, Kanan Jarrus/Hera Syndulla
Comments: 4
Kudos: 50





	Clarity

“Mmm. Kanan.” Hera moans as the water pours down over her skin, like warm raindrops. Kanan laughs softly. He traces the trails of soap over her body with his thumb, following its swirls over her breasts and sliding down her ribcage.

“You like that?” he asks, breathless and teasing.

Hera nods frantically, and reaches out to trap Kanan's hand as it rests lightly on her hip. He leans in, forcing Hera to back up until her head bumps against the shower wall. Kanan presses his hand gently to her cheek, and leans down to kiss her. Her mouth opens just enough to accept his tongue, and hers pushes between his teeth. When they break apart, Kanan tilts his head back and drinks the falling water. His wide grin draws a softer smile to Hera's face.

Hera shivers, until Kanan wraps her up in his arms and holds her close. The water is getting colder. He fumbles for the dial that will turn off the spray, and when the water has stopped falling he plants a kiss on the top of Hera's forehead. She reaches behind him for a large, soft towel, big enough to wrap comfortingly around both of them.

“I never want to leave this room,” Kanan declares, as Hera nuzzles close against his chest and he rests his chin on the top of her head.

Hera mumbles something that might be an agreement, but she's already shifting in his arms. Kanan pouts, but she just presses a quick kiss to his lips and then slips out of his grasp. She begins pulling on her familiar jumpsuit, first one leg, then the other. She's barely got it to her waist before Kanan comes up from behind and wraps his arms tightly around her again. 

“Kanan, I have to-“

“Stay,” he pleads, before she can finish the sentence. “Just this once.”

Hera’s lekku twitch, reflecting her indecision. “I can’t,” she sighs. 

Kanan frowns. Hera places her hand on his cheek and gently kisses him. “Hey. You know I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

The look Kanan shoots her proves how he feels about that attempt to comfort him, but he knows how important Phoenix Squadron is to Hera, and where Commander Sato calls her, there she goes.

He’s not  _ jealous.  _ Is he? 

He scowls, pulling on his own shirt and pants and trying to shake the foul mood he’s in. Surely he can handle entertaining himself for an hour while Hera’s in her meeting?    
  
The look on Hera’s face is quizzical, and there’s something in her eyes that he struggles to read. It almost looks like she’d be willing to stay, if he could just say and do all the right things to convince her.    
  
But while they are here, the  _ Ghost  _ is not the  _ Ghost _ as he knows it; instead, it is just one ship within the larger rebel fleet. And keeping Hera away from the rest of the rebels, even if he could, would be testing her loyalties in such a way that he is not at all sure he’d win. Hera was a rebel before he ever met her, after all. 

His stomach flips as his mind latches onto this fear: He doesn’t want to lose her.    
  
He reaches out to take her hand just as she’s about to slip out the door of the small refresher they’d commandeered for their brief respite from the chaos and panic of a rebellion that always seems barely a step ahead of total annihilation. Hera frowns, but Kanan just squeezes her hand gently and then lets her go. “I’ll be waiting for you,” he reminds her. “We’ve got a dinner date.”   
  
“Wouldn’t miss it,” Hera replies with a grin.    


Kanan watches her go, then wipes his face with a towel and leaves the refresher behind with a sigh. He should go and find Ezra. Their crew has been treating this rendezvous at the rebel base as a sort of vacation, limited though it is, but being a Jedi isn’t the sort of thing you take a break from. And anyway, maybe training the kid will distract him from whatever is going on inside his head right now. He doesn’t like it. He feels like he isn’t in control of his own emotions, and that is never a good position for a Jedi to be in.

“What’s up with you?” Ezra asks, when Kanan finds him, along with Sabine and Zeb, working on routine maintenance on the  _ Ghost. _

Sabine crosses her arms over her chest and studies him, intrigued by Ezra’s question. “You do look a little grumpy,” she points out.

“I’m not grumpy!”

Sabine raises an eyebrow. Kanan sighs. 

He turns to Ezra. “As fascinating and important as those diagnostics are, I need you for something else.”   
  
He starts to walk away, expecting Ezra to follow. He isn’t disappointed. The boy hurries to catch up with him, falling into step just behind Kanan as the Jedi seeks out an unused room they can disappear into for a little while. 

The storage room he finds is stuffed full of crates, but it seems unlikely that anyone will seek them out there. “Sit down,” he commands. Ezra stares at him, but does what he is told. Kanan sits across from him, settling into the familiar pose Depa had taught him all those years ago. He holds his body loose and relaxed, and takes a deep breath, preparing to mediate, to feel the Force flowing through him. “I thought we might try a little meditation.”

“Meditation,” Ezra repeats flatly. “You need me for  _ meditation. _ ”

Kanan just nods, not trusting himself to be able to explain how… off-center, he is today. “I want you to take the lead.”

“O…kay. Kanan, are you sure everything’s alright?”

_ I’m sure it’s nothing I want to talk about with you,  _ Kanan wants to say, but Ezra is about to feel everything through the Force anyway. 

“Things are changing,” he says, and he leaves it up to Ezra to interpret what that means.

“You said life is change.”

Kanan sighs, and opens his eyes. “I did say that,” he agrees, searching Ezra’s face for some clue as to how the boy is feeling. But the teenager can be downright inscrutable when he wants to be. Kanan supposes it’s one of the things that will make him a good Jedi. 

He closes his eyes again, breathes in, and opens himself to the Force. He can feel Ezra first, and brightest. The boy is curious and impatient; he chafes at being pulled away from Sabine, and he’s never quite gotten the hang of the quiet skills like meditation in the first place. Kanan has never prioritized them. 

So he’s uncertain, but game to try. He mimics Kanan’s posture and tries to take calming breaths for several seconds before he asks “What do you want me to do?” 

“What do you feel?” Kanan asks. He’s genuinely curious. He’s not trying to project his frustrating mental state, but Ezra should certainly be able to pick up on some of it, if he tries.    
  
“You’re mad at Hera,” Ezra says, immediately.    
  
“I am not  _ mad  _ at her.” 

“Okay,” Ezra says, but it’s clear he doesn’t believe Kanan’s protests. Kanan opens his eyes and settles back to lean against one of the storage crates.    


“The Jedi thought that attachment was dangerous. That it could blind you to the will of the Force.” 

Ezra’s eyes widen. It’s rare that Kanan talks about the Jedi as they used to be, and Ezra clings to every bit of information he can find, from any source.   
  
“I suppose I’m beginning to understand why they held that belief so strongly,” Kanan muses. 

“Hera would never leave you,” Ezra says. She wouldn’t leave any of them, but especially not Kanan. The two of them did nothing to hide their relationship from the rest of the Spectres, and Ezra figures that if the Jedi would have had a problem with it, then in that at least, they were wrong. A smile quirks at the edges of Kanan’s lips. “ _ What _ ?” Ezra demands. 

“I did figure you would provide some much needed clarity.”    
  
“What’s that supposed to mean?” 

“That I’m being a kriffing idiot.”

“Well, at least you’re right about that.”

“Hera would kick my ass if she knew what I was thinking.”   
  
“I don’t, you know,” Ezra points out. 

“Don’t what?”   
  
“Know what you’re thinking. Except for when you’re being real obvious about it.”

“Yeah, I know.” Kanan sighs and gets to his feet, beckoning Ezra to follow. 

“Where’re we going now?”   
  
“Back to fix the  _ Ghost _ . Phoenix Leader’s gonna need it.” 

Ezra throws Kanan a mock salute, still grinning. “She’s happy about this, you know? And I think we should be happy for her.”  
  
Kanan reaches out to ruffle Ezra’s hair. “Anyone ever tell you you’re too smart for your own good?”   
  
Ezra ducks under Kanan’s arm and laughs. “You do, all the time. But hey - I’m just providing clarity.”


End file.
